My past in the music industry, church ministry & the non-profit sector prepared me for the executive world about as much as Rick Perry’s campaign manager prepared him for his 2011 GOP debates. Luckily, Youtube hasn’t exploited my amateur moments the way it has his. Never-the-less, I have often had to re-learn how to think, communicate & carry myself in this world of bureaucrats and bottom lines.

I recently reminisced with my executive coach about a significant business exchange I’d had in the past. After I was finished retelling the event – which was jammed full of uncertainty and subtle apologies for my very apparent rookie status – my coach sat back in his chair, thought for a moment & responded with a revolutionary idea. “Tyler, I think you need to get some swagger.”

“We must become the most badass version of ourselves…” -Donald DeSantis in “Everything I need to know about startups, I learned from a crime Boss.”

Being a badass – not to be mistaken with being a jack-ass – is more about confidence than it is about arrogance. And this thing – confidence – is as good as gold in the professional world.

Here’s some observations I’ve made in my slow & arduous recovery from uncertainty.

3 qualities of a bad ass:
1. A badass believes they are an asset and acts like it – not forcing themselves into any situation, but very well understanding the value of their voice.
2. A badass doesn’t make assumptions. They are influenced only by experience, foresight & evidence.
3. A badass is decisive. Though they may take time in investigating alternatives, they don’t fear failure – making it natural to always keep moving forward.

I’m not sure there’s a quick fix to insecurity or uncertainty. I’m also not sure if starting weekend fight clubs (seen above) may be the ideal strategy to “become the most badass version of yourself.” However, what I do know is that many of us, like Edward Norton in Fight Club, could use a good tutorial from our inner Tyler Durden.

Everything has a culture. Every business. Every neighborhood. Every person.

Culture is the projection of a person's or group of people's collective values.

If we were to spend a day at Disneyland, we would experience the magical culture built by Walt's value for fun and celebration. If we were to tour Pixar's headquarters, we would see - firsthand - John Lassiter's value for quirky creativity, child-likeness and risk.

Perhaps one of the greatest modern examples of this recently visited Nashville. Bono brought a culture that changed this city for a night. He gave us more than a show. He brought us his values for performance, justice and equality.

Aware of it or not, what you value is being projected. It's creating a culture that you carry in to a room; a relationship; a family...

If this is true, then the most relevant question we can ask ourselves - in terms of the impact and influence of our lives - becomes simple. "What do we value?"

Here's a great exercise for anyone looking for positive impact: Define Your Core Values.

And you? Have you ever met someone that carries a positive culture? If so, do you see the direct correlation to what they value?

Is it a quest for purpose that drives us in our young age to travel the world, keep ipod’s in our ears, obsess over orgasms or put a syringe in our arm? Is it a search for purpose that makes us – in our older societal-seasoned lives – bury ourselves in work, sink our families in debt or run to alcohol when vacations just don’t quite thrill us the way they use too? Is it a search for purpose that inspires us to give our money to a stranger on the streets, stir romance with our spouse or ask God to show up in our everyday lives? 

I’m not so sure it is.

I think what we really want is to simply feel alive.

Our modern society, with it’s tag team of comfort and speed, has a way of sedating us from FEELING life. We stay in cycles of pursuit hoping that what we want is just around the corner.

It demands courage to refuse the sexiness of speed and to slow down. But if we can brave it, we may just begin to truly see the people in our lives. We may find that much of what we want is right in front of us.


TED.com’s Carl Honore has great things to say about the issue:

“That would never work in the real world.” You hear it all the time when you tell people about a fresh idea. This real world sounds like an awfully depressing place where new ideas, unfamiliar approaches and foreign concepts always lose. Ignore the real world. That world may be real for them, but it doesn’t mean you have to live in it. The real world isn’t a place. It’s an excuse and a justification for not trying.

Rework: the book (NY Times Bestseller)

We often use this “real world” to rationalize our fear of making powerful choices and doing what we love. All I’m asking is that we reconsider.

What could life be like if you played outside the lines of other peoples fear’s, disappointments and lack of faith? Often it’s outside those lines where legacy happens.

What is it that you love to do?

Often, Americans have a hard time answering that question. From a young age, monetary gain, stability and success are imprinted on our values from all angles. Unfortunately, the consequences of not taking the time to investigate are often risky. Many default to fall in love with busyness or money itself. Then comes the mid-life crisis’, broken families and re-evaluation.

Don’t be that guy.

We were designed to bring something wonderful to the world and to love doing it. If your doing something you don’t see yourself ever enjoying, chances are you weren’t designed to do it. Chances are, you’re heading straight for a corvette on the credit card around the age of 50 too.

You have the CHOICE to do what you love. It’s got nothing to do with quitting your day job. It’s got everything to do with your courage and willingness to sacrifice. If it’s business, music, customer service, writing, leading, hospitality, painting, pastoring, speaking, farming… start a conversation with your wife or friends today about it.

Then pick this guy’s book up, read it and tell me how it is: