tyler ward.

I’ve recently heard a lot of people go on about finding their purpose in life. It’s nothing new to me. In fact, my quest for purpose has been a dramatically arduous one. One, in which, I won’t emotionally wear you out with now. Let’s just say that at one point in my life, if Rick Warren in “The Purpose Driven Life” would have told me that my purpose was to eat cow feces, I would be well experienced at getting my stomach pumped by now.

However, I don’t know that it was always the “purpose” of my life I was looking for.  Read more...

It was the last 4 minutes of class, Dr Bell spouted this out as if a passing, nonchalant suggestion. “The bible is an invitation into a conversation.” The paradox is that the inference he made happens to be, in my mind, one of the more pressing issues in our modern day’s christianity.  Read more...

I find myself in my small world that has made “love” trendy. It has taken the most dynamic entity in history and made it a tool, strategy, or means to an end. My teenage years, invested in trying to stay out of trouble, told me “love” was the only other option. My scholarly life taught me to present “love” as a currency for good relations with my teachers and, in turn, graduation. My evangelical roots taught me to “love” people to save people. My professional existence gives “love” the role of creating trust and respect in order to empower a contract or partnership. My marriage has persevered through it’s share of days where “love” was simply a tool to make our lives less turbulent, to have better sex, or to get what i want.  Read more...

In our first Christmas season together, I found myself often lost in the thought of “how the hell did I get Analee?” Beyond her being substantially more good looking, intelligent, and magical than I am, I’ve gotten centimeters away from blowing my chances with her all together-more than a few times. In celebration of both, her grace for my complete failure as a boyfriend, as well as, her spending this Christmas-and every other Christmas on earth- with me…I thought I might share my “epic fails” with the world. Take it from me all you men out there. Though it worked out for me in the end, the following is not a guide to success with women.  Read more...

Maslow, one of the more respected psychologists throughout history, throws twelve people he believes to have “self-transcended” (to be explained) in a room. They had three things in common. Each had had a significant mystical or ecstatic experience in their past that changed their view of themselves and the world, they project a serene and stable personality, and they possess the same five qualities as defining values in their lives: compassion, creativity, humility, intelligence, and divergent thinking. Maslow defined self-transcendence as the ability to rise above oneself and the material world to deeply give, care about, and love another…and in turn, experience a quality life. More importantly, Maslow preached that this ability to transcend oneself happens only after ones basic needs of life are taken care of. In real words, when our basic needs of life are being taken care of, we then have the ability to rise above the material system and ourselves to experience a quality lifestyle of love.  Read more...

Having just returned home from a 5 day experience with one of the more dysfunctional boss’ anyone could ever not ask for, this marks the end of my short stint with one of the more dysfunctional companies anyone could not ask to work for. Some of my preceding thoughts come from my natural progression into the professional world; yet, most of them come out of a semi-traumatic work experience, and may be prone to dramatic translation. In either case, here are a few random thoughts I’ve had during this recent seemingly long and rather taxing road of employment.  Read more...

Its been 49 days since I repeated those vows, and though I may not be a veteran on this journey called “marriage,” here’s a few thoughts. They derive from both my substantial failures as a husband thus far, as well as, what i consider to be a few success’ the wife and i have navigated. All of which, is heavily subject to change, especially in light of my recent and earth shattering discovery that i “dont know everything,” which was so kindly stated by my wife.  Read more...

“Boundaries are where identity comes from. They define what is you and what is not you. Some have not been able to own their own their own gifts, talents, desires, and dreams because they are unable to set boundaries on others definitions and expectations of them. You must take ownership of how you feel, how you think, and what you want, or else you run the risk of being defined by others.“

-Townsend and Cloud (in “Boundaries” on pg 213)  Read more...

In my move to LA, i found myself utterly intimidated and untrusting of anyone who could potentially have or hurt my heart. In a season when I was determined to not let anyone too close and in danger of shutting my heart down, who else would walk in my life than a five ft nothing ball of energy that pulled on every ounce of my attraction and intrigue?  Read more...

Just as my memoirs of mistakes were about to capsize my heart for the day, Paul walks in wearing a robe and holding a towel. Everything in me wants to fall on my knees and let the tears go. I keep my composure. He doesn’t say hello, just cuts to the chase. “Come here.”

For the next 10 minutes, we stand at his bedroom window and stare at the trees. He’s captivated with a certain kind of leaf, that when inspired by the wind, resembles the crackling of a fire ember.  Read more...